I can’t really explain the therapeutic attributes of BDSM…I just know that they exist. After being on a 5-day hiatus I can only assume that the inexplicit void is a result of the absence of my typical behavior. Although I didn’t embark on this venture to correct (or rather sooth) something visceral within me, I understand that it does. Of course if I were paying closer attention to the absolute experience from the beginning I would have realized it was a dynamic that existed all along.

I was a domme long before I chose to take it on as a profession, or had a partner to serve me, or even a word to associate it with; being domme is a natural assertiveness, an inclined state of mind; but just as long as I’ve been a domme I’ve been a writer, both of which are innate in me and have incredible spiritual and psychological benefits; so really it only makes sense to assemble a blog correlating the two.

With that being said I don’t have any experience in writing blogs, in fact I don’t really have much experience in reading them (aside from the occasional pegging or bondage blog that I inadvertently come across). I don’t have a favorite “blogger” or a particular format that I follow, so for now, until I gain more experience this is going to be a sort of a conscious free-flowing thought. It’s something I’ve been considering for quite sometime, so regardless of if it’s interesting or written correctly, or even good I’ve decided to just say fuck it, being the perfectionist that I am if I don’t write the first one just to write it, it’ll never get done.

Now that I’ve gotten that small disclaimer out of the way, back to the subject at hand……

It’s a topic that I take great interest in and will probably write about again in one reincarnation or another. However, it’s one particular, recent incident that peaked my present intrigue (aside from my own current selfish agenda).

I have a slave that is almost as dedicated to his therapist as he is to me. He sees us both on a weekly basis and contributes advancements in his personal healing process to both of us equally. The reason therapy works for so many people is pretty self explanatory, even for those who don’t understand the process or don’t accept psychology as a measurable science can still agree that the simple act of talking out your problems or opening up to another individual is extremely curative.

BDSM on the other hand is almost universally rejected by those who are foreign to the subject; particularly those in the psychological field. In fact up until a few years ago the very idea was considered an abnormality, perversion and an indication of mental illness. It would almost always be attributed to an “unidentified traumatic experience that took place in early childhood”… this by the way is pretty much the national anthem for psychologists that have no fucking clue what they’re talking about.

Nevertheless some have recently begun to reevaluate this theory, and even accept the idea that BDSM is a healthy outlet. Last year a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine concluded that those that practice BDSM have a better mental state, and generally conduct healthier relationships then those that do not…However, even with this, I’m sure you can sympathies with my reservations when my slave asked permission to tell his therapist about me.

Our sessions take place in a professional setting which would most likely make it that much more incomprehensible for her. The truth is that I value my slave and the bond that we’ve created and I didn’t want to jeopardize that. However, I know that discussing this particular aspect of his life with her would be beneficial to his progress so I reluctantly agreed. Much to my surprise she actually determined our relationship to be a positive one, although admittedly she failed to understand it.

Now I’m no expert, and my little associates in psychology is nothing compared to the years this woman spent earning her doctrine. I don’t flatter myself, and I’ll willingly admit that I don’t understand most of the psychology coupled with the subject of BDSM, I do however understand my slave. I can take one look at him and read him like a fucking book without ever exchanging a word. I know when he’s vulnerable and needs to be nurtured, and I know when he’s experiencing feelings of guilt and needs to be punished. I don’t judge him and I don’t take advantage of him and that’s the beauty of this whole thing.

When all is said and done dommes are healers, regardless if they take on the role of the loving nursemaid or the stern governess it’s an exchange of energy. The domme takes a lot of things from her slave, control, humility, even manhood, but what she gives him in return in one form or another is love. Even the very relationship that exists between a sub and their domme entails more trust then any vanilla relationship either might encounter.

The dynamics are complicated, the situations are subjective, and the outcomes are infinite. The truth is the best things in life aren’t meant to be understood, only experienced, and what fun would it be if it was all backed by some kind of formulated rationale anyway?

-Mistress Kayla